The stigma of being in collections

Do you ever get a phone call in the middle of a meeting or on a date or just someplace where it would be embarrassing to answer the call? Because you know it is a collections agent calling about your overdue credit card debt or your foreclosed debt or some other collections effort that you would rather forget about? Why does that feel so bad? Your mood instantly changes, doesn't it? Let's say you are at a gathering, a party or something and for the first time in weeks you feel like you are relaxing a little. For the first time in a long time, you try not to think about all the things you have to do at home. It is just you, a glass of wine, your spouse, or date... and then you see that name on the caller ID on your phone and you instantly tense up. Your good mood is instantly gone and now you have tense pressure, you feel guilt, you feel shame, you are embarrassed that you have a collections agent calling you... and you think you are the only one in the entire world who has a collections agent calling you, nobody around you have the same experience. I mean, just look around, they are all so happy, right?

When you are at home, and you get the same call, you can ignore it, just don't deal with it, you are at home... you don't care as much. But oh my god, what if someone saw your caller ID and now ... THEY KNOW! They know... right? That's what could be going through your mind.

Well, first of all, OK, so they know. So, what. Did YOU know that over 64 million Americans have in fact a collections agent calling them? 64 million! That's almost 30% of the population! The URBAN INSTITUTE had a great article on this, and I would encourage you to read it.

64 million of your fellow Americans are in collections. And it's not like these people are deadbeats, just like you are not a deadbeat! You work. You try. You are busting your hump every day to stay above the water line, with your mortgage, your rent, your utilities, your car payment, your insurance, your credit cards, your bills... OK, so you have a collections call. So, what, big deal. Go back and enjoy your party. Allow yourself to relax, you need it once in a while, it is not the end of the world. Enjoy the party, enjoy your time there, that is the reason you went there in the first place. That is not the time to think about your debt.

However...

...it is also not to be ignored forever. Because once the party is over, you should think about your debt a little. You should confront it and make sure it is taken care of. Now, I am not a professional advice giver, and this is not telling you what to do. I'm just someone who researches things because I have been there. I have had calls like that and I wanted to know what my options are because I was sick and tired of getting those calls. So here is the scoop that I found.

First of all, you need to get familiar with the Fair Debt Collections Act - here is the link to it on the FTC website. Yes, it is a long read. Yes, it is boring. Yes, it is all that - and you need to read it anyway because you need to know how to protect your rights. That is step one.

Step 2. You have to realize that your debt situation is not forever. It is temporary. At some point, it will be resolved so you don't have to deal with it for the rest of your life. As such, since it is a temporary annoyance, you should devote only as much time and energy to it as it takes to resolve it and not a single ounce of energy more. In other words, resolve it, but don't allow it to overwhelm you or even worse, to give you a hard time over and over and over again. Become familiar with your rights so you can take the steps you need to take in order to deal with this situation.

Step 3. This is something I have learned the hard way, so I would encourage you to find this out for yourself as soon as possible so you don't add unnecessary drama to your day. As I just stated, debt collection is not permanent. At some point the debt becomes so old that they can no longer legally collect on it - although, they will try! BUT - once the statute of limitations in your home state on the particular debt has expired, in my case, in Florida, that debt is no longer an obligation to be fulfilled. Debt collectors know this, however they will continue to hound us on it BECAUSE - IF you engage them, if you talk to them, if you agree to anything on the phone, in writing, via letter, anything, you reset the clock on that collection effort and it becomes legal for them to collect again.

Let me say this with bold letters - I AM NOT GIVING ADVICE ON THIS OF WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. What I am saying is, you have to know your rights, you have to know your debt, you have to know what you can and cannot do to protect yourself. I have had debt collectors try to call me on a debt that was over 10 years expired and the reason I know this, is because they are required to send you via letter an explanation of the debt, where it came from, what it is, etc. Do not just throw away the letter! Open it and read it. If you see a line item on there, in bold letters, saying something like this, "We will not sue you for this debt because it is too old for us to take action on it, but we will continue to try to collect on it" or anything like that, that means they will no longer be able to sue you for the debt because it is too old and the only thing they can hope for is that you reset the clock on it by entering into an agreement with them to pay it.

I say, they can go pound sand at that time. I have no regard for collectors because the 99% of a$$hole collectors who would lie, cheat and steal, will give the 1% who try to play by the rules a bad name. Now. In all fairness, I have dealt with collection agents who were professional, and played by the rules. I have paid off collections accounts before that I thought were fair. But of all the collection agents I have dealt with in the past 25 years, and there have been a fair number until I finally learned how to budget my money and get on track with life, the VAST majority have been rude, pushy, borderline illegal agents who lied, cheated and told me all kinds of crap just to get a dime out of me. They will use guilt, they will lie, they will cheat, and they will do so with a flippant disregard for the law to collect because that is how they want to get rich. There is a famous recording of a collector who brags to his friends about how he just loves to harass your family, your friends, your boss, your neighbors about your debt if you ignore him - read the law and see how legal that is. Does that sound like a professional collector who wants to work with you to resolve the issue, as they claim to be? NO! That sounds like a complete a$$hole, piece of crap of a human being who delights in the misery of others. I wouldn't pay that guy a dime and I would use every legal method at my disposal that the law gives me to block him from ever getting a dime from me. EVERY. LEGAL. METHOD.

But you have to know your rights to counter them because as soon as you are educated about the law, as soon as you know your rights, the better you will be in dealing with these people. You have to get educated about your rights.

And... of course, you have to build a budget and make sure you stay on top of it. You have to make good choices about where your money goes and that is hard because a lot of times, there is more months left than money and you still need gas and food and all that and you are out of money until the next paycheck. So, you have to build a budget and you have to start exploring options to start getting on track. There are legal tools you can use to protect yourself and you should use every single legal tool available to you because you know damn well that those people will use every legal (and often times illegal) way to get your money from you.

Know the law. Know your options. Know what is available to you. Educate yourself.

BUT.

Never, ever, ever feel ashamed about it. Despite what lenders say, it is not your character that is in question. When you apply for a loan, they will check your credit report and say that your credit report is a reflection of your character, if you are a good person or not... bullshit. Your credit has nothing to do with your character. Are you a good person? Well, are you? Do you help an elderly person across the street? Yes? OK, that's good. If you see someone crying, do you ask if they are OK? Well, that's a good character. If you see suffering, do you feel bad for that person? Well, that's empathy, that's a good character. Do you try to provide for your family? Make sure they have food, clothing, etc.? Well, that's a good person, isn't it? You bet it is.

You are not out there committing crimes, are you? I find it so hypocritical, that the same bankers, the same landers, who cause the 2008 financial crash with reckless lending, with reckless and unbelievably greedy practices, with a "Fuck that guy" attitude made BILLIONS of dollars by crashing the economy and causing massive unemployment, massive financial suffering just so they can make billions of dollars, have the gall, the unmitigated gall to look at a piece of paper and call someone else a bad person because of their credit score when they are the ones who did criminal things and caused so much suffering. Do you know what bankers call someone who pays their credit cards in full every month? A DEADBEAT. YEAH! They call responsible people deadbeats because they can't make money off of them! How about that...

You are not a bad person if you get a collection call and don't let them make you feel that way. Know your rights and know what you are able to do under the law to protect yourself. Then hang up the call and go back to enjoying the party - or life. Because you only got one life and there is no reason to let some a$$hole ruin it.